Benny Livingston

Im Still Standing

2012-01-24T14:14:00.000-08:00

A new year has come and my life has only begun, but the challenges still come but the faith never stops. I went back in the hospital on January first and was in for 18 days due to a bad stomach blockage. I know I have been in and out of the hospital a lot and have gotten a little down on myself, but looking back I ask myself why? Why was I so discouraged? I know that everything that's been thrown at I have over come and beat by a living God who live inside me. His love and grace has never failed to amaze me. I know my life will always have struggles and I will always have things that try to step in front of me to weaken my faith. But like one of my friends told me Job in the bible had his trials too, he was told to curse God and die, but through think and thin he continued to stay strong and faithful. I look and long to display that same example of a follower of Christ. I look at myself every day and I see scars of a testimony written all over my body, I see them as a story and a undying evidence of a living God. People ask me sometimes what it was like to go through my surgery, my double lung transplant. I can only say so much but even still cant put into words the pain, the work, the struggle, the fight it took just to get out of bed. I can only explain it so much the rest would have to be something you personally would have to go through to understand. I know this, if it came down to it I would do it all over again because the outcome was so worth it. I want you to know that when you get knocked down keep getting back up and hold your head high and use the faith that God has given you to stand strong. It's not about how hard you can hit, but how many hits you can take before you get knocked down. I may look weak and tired sometimes, I may have tubes, lines, and markings all over me, but guess what? I'm still standing! God is right here holding me up, and when it's time I wont fall down, ill be falling up to be in the presents of the King of Kings!

Happy To Be Alive

2011-11-19T18:50:00.000-08:00

Thanksgiving is approaching, the time of the year where people gather around, eat, enjoy the time they have with there families, and say what they are thankful for. I have a list of what Im thankful for, my family, friends, my church, my home, and just the amazing things God has done in my life. The number one thing I would say Im thankful for is just to be alive. A lot of things have happen to me, trials with my health, with my family, the heart break of losing my Dad, and just fighting at some points just to stay alive. I had a provoking thought come to mind hearing someone speak about life. I think about the people who were in the World Trade Center on 9-11-2001. Do you think the people who made it out kind of dusted there shirts off and walked away with there head held high like nothing really happen? I can already tell you your answer is no. They came out broken bleeding fighting just take another breath, covered in dirt and ruble, some with broken limbs, burnt, and other things that I cant imagine. But when life troughs you the hardest things at you and you feel broken, dirty, and all that just happen is so overwhelming, you feel the weight of everything come crashing on top of you, you just look back as your crawling out of the mess and say, I just thank God Im alive and made it through that. Those people in that building being so afraid and in a complete mess wanted to do whatever it took to just get out and just to stay alive. God wants you to know that when your at your worst when you feel scared and feel there is no hope and you have been beaten and you can hardly walk on your own two feet, thats when we can cry out to God and just ask Him to pick us up and to save us from the mess we were in. God is here to clean us from the inside out, when we feel all is lost and there is no hope, just let go and let God and He will take you and clean you right up. I write this as Im in the hospital waiting for a bed in the ER. I write this to remind myself of my faith even though things get frustrating sometimes. I write this to also encourage you that no matter what life challenges you with there is always hope and a way out, and His name is Jesus.

Trauma, Real Life In The ER

2011-11-15T02:14:00.001-08:00

As I walked in to the ER on November 14th 2011, I knew it wasn't going to be a normal night than I usually experience. I entered a completely empty and quiet emergency room, it's the first time in 13 year of frequently coming to this hospital that I have seen that ever happen. So I checked myself in, took my blood pursuer, temperature, and right away was put in a room in the back. Well this room just so happen to be the ER's trauma room, it was the first bed open and appeared to be a slow quiet night. As I wait for a room up stairs, talk to the doctor and have some test done, The night went from quiet to complete Trauma, Real Life In The ER. A man came rushed into my room on a gurney with complete chaos of 10 people pushing him in. The curtain was drawn right away making it to where I could only listen to what was going on. This man was staying at a hotel with his wife and in the mix of a fight and being angry, he punched through the hotel window almost cutting his arm off! The doctors and nurses were franticly trying stop this man from bleeding out. He had cut through his maine attire in his arm right where the elbow bends, from his forearm down to where you could see the bone. Im only hearing all this being talked about while trying to save him and trying to get the story of what happen all figured out. I hear them saying "give him more fentanyl" (a high dose of pain medication) over and over again, just to keep him out of pain but sometimes medication just wont help. I could tell the medication wasn't fazing him as he screamed in pain, as they tried to stop the bleeding in his arm. The doctor stitched a part of the inside of his arm right on the spot just to try and stop some the bleeding. The doctor working on him also stuck a clamp in his arm pinching off the main artery to basically save this mans life from losing too much blood and bleeding out. He had lost over a liter of blood just on the emergency room floor, I could hear the doctors ordering a blood transfusion. I herd people calling the OR (Operating Room) for emergency surgery, "grade A" as they called it. The surgeon came in and said to the man lying there in agonizing pain, "Sir we're going to take you to surgery and we're going to take a vain from your leg and replace the one in your arm" They tried to get a response but he was practically unresponsive and I could only imagine and hear why. After about 30 minutes of all this going on just a curtain blocking me from seeing it all happen, to just leaving it up to hearing and using my imagination, he was rushed out as he was rushed in. They took him straight to the operating room and the room became dead silence, leaving me with my mouth open and my mind just thinking, "did that just happen?" The house keeper came down just a few minutes later to clean the room, I could hear the house keeper come to the door and just stop, looking around in awe before coming in. The house keeper turns to the nurse and says "this was a true trauma" nurse says "yeah you missed a good one" She asked "did he make it?" I still couldn't see what mess had been left behind, I could only hear the house keeper mop up the floor and just say what a mess it was. The nurse made a comment saying she was going to take the gurney outside to just have it thrown away from the amount of blood there was covering it. For being such a quiet night coming into the ER, it sure didn't turn out that way. I herd what I haven't even seen in a movie, and let me tell you, it doesn't get too much better than that. And that is...

Trauma, Real Life In The ER.

Overflowing Feelings

2011-10-31T02:25:00.000-07:00

So im writing this while listening to Casting Crowns new song Courageous, I feel so overwhelmed by the awesome power and the love of God. I just cant get enough, Im thinking of all the things God has allowed me to go through and things He's done that are truly the full and complete power of Him. Show me more God, show me the next step, give me the wisdom an strength to do your will. I want to be a courageous and a bold follower to the truth. God you have shown me your mighty power, you have shut and have opened the doors, but most of all you have never shut your eyes on me. I always miss my dad and wish he was here, but I know your my heavily father and you were here yesterday, today, and forever. My tears don't changes things but your love does, I don't know how something so bad could be in your glory, but because you tell me it is I listen. God give me wisdom to know, give me strength to move on.

Man Made For Me.

2011-10-19T03:53:00.000-07:00

I was born August 9th 1988, My donor was born August 19th 1989.

One year and 10 days after I was born. God created this man knowing that one day he would save my life 21 years later on August 31st 2010.

God sent Jesus full man and full God 2000 years ago to not only save me, but to save and change the whole world. God created Jesus knowing one day he would save my life, June 27th 2006.

You Lift Me Up When I Am Weak.

2011-10-17T08:47:00.000-07:00

It's been a little hard, life has thrown at me a few trials. It's been one year and 18 days since I had my surgery and I am doing great still. Although the past couple months have been very discouraging for me. When I got my new lungs the thing I assumed the most was I would hardly ever go back in the hospital, but lately that hasn't been the case. I got sick with a small infection in my lungs, and of corse was admitted into the hospital where they treated me properly with IV antibiotics. Well for some reason I wasn't able to fight that off that easily, I was released from the hospital but just with in two weeks or less I would start to feel how I felt when I first was put into the hospital. Well anyways, I have been in the hospital about four times in the last two months trying to get rid of this bug I have. It really started to bring me down a lot, starting to feel very frustrated, Im doing everything In my power to stay healthy and pretty much the number one thing is, taking my medication which I am always on top of. So I was really upset that I was back in the hospital again for the fourth time, I think I became some what depressed. Even though at this point of time I finding it very hard to stay strong and keep my head up, the one thing I realized is this, Even though we get tossed around in life, like as if were in a boxing ring with a much larger appointee. Remember this, it's not about how hard you can hit, it's about how many hits you can take without giving up. So when we feel knocked down, remember God is always there to lift you up!

12:61pm

2011-08-15T05:45:00.000-07:00

If your life is ever given a time limit, smash the clock, because time is in Gods hands and only He has the power of when you go. Seeing in my own life God can work wonders and give you that extra minute.

Breathing By Faith

2011-07-28T01:57:00.000-07:00

BREATHING BY FAITH

My name is Benny Livingston and I have Cystic Fibrosis. When I was 14 the doctors told me that I needed a double-lung transplant so I went to L.A. Children’s Hospital. After that experience, I wanted nothing to do with transplant. The fear was too overwhelming. The transplant was the thing I feared the most. It was my giant in life. I ran from this fear for eight years. During those eight years, my body became weaker.

In 2009, after turning 21, I got really sick. I was in the ICU for three weeks and in the hospital for over a month. People thought I wasn’t going to make it. That’s when I said in my mind, “I’m not going to die.”

Being 21, I could no longer be seen under pediatric care at Loma Linda Hospital. So I switched to UCSD, San Diego.

The day before Thanksgiving, 2009, while hospitalized, I received a call from my mom telling me my dad had just committed suicide. That was devastating for my five brothers and I. The doctor said I could go home to be with my family. I was able spend Thanksgiving with them, just not in the way I had imagined.

The next month I talked to the doctors. They told me I had 18% lung capacity and they gave me two years to live. I hit rock bottom. The only way to go on was by keeping my faith in God. I began the process of getting on the list for a double lung transplant. On June 1, 2010, I was listed. That’s when I knew I had to let go and let God take control. I prayed for the fear of the surgery to be lifted off my chest. I prayed for my donor family who I had never met, knowing that it would take a life to save mine. On August 30^th 2010 my phone rang. A voice said, “Mr. Livingston, we have lungs for you.”

Friends and family waited with me for the nurse to say, “It’s time.” At 12:30 a.m. August 31^st, I received my double-lung transplant. My breathing tube was pulled out within 24 hours. Doctors say it takes three days to a week. I recovered remarkably and left the hospital in two weeks. I was finally able to take a deep breath, to run for the first time, to have endurance, to not feel short of breath. God had given me a new life, a life that I had never experienced before. I share my story so people know that no matter what you go through in life, no matter what giants you may face, God can bring you out of it. He turned my fear into peace and my weakness into strength. We know that we can do all things through Christ who strengthens us. I think about how it took someone’s son, to save me. But God sent His only Son to save us all. Sometimes we don’t know why things happen or why trials may come, but trials and hardships only make us stronger, because when God puts us on our back, we look up.

Benny Livingston

Introduction to who I am.

2011-05-03T05:46:00.000-07:00

What we go through in life and how we live defines who we are. Everyone comes from different walks of life, and has their own unique story. A teacher, nurse, doctor, police officer, fire fighter, a mother, brother, sister, and a dad. We all have something to share and a value to this world to change someone's life. As for me you would think I'm less fortunate than others but I don't think that for one moment, because what Im about to share is a journey that I have fought, overcome, and have never given up all the way through. I have Cystic Fibrosis, a cryonic terminal lung disease that effects over 30,000 people in the US and over 70,000 world wide. I was diagnosed just days after I was born. I have spent most of my life in and out of the hospital adding up to years of my life. I have lived a life, a full life and I have fought for every breath I have. I have lived every day not knowing when I will take my last breath, or if I will see the grace of tomorrow. I have fought every day to live to tell my story. I have seen death and I have seen life, I have felt fear and I have had peace, I have had tears, and felt joy, I have had no hope, but have seen grace, I have felt anger, but been loved, I have walked through darkness and have seen the light. I have passed many nurses, doctors, and other patients. I have had a different drug, a new chart, a fresh pillow and a new sheet. A new nurse, a new doctor, but always the same routine. On my back, but always looking up. I don't live one day not thanking God for what he has done for me. I do have Cystic Fibrosis and I have had to fight for life. I have had to go through trials and things I didn't want to face but I have learned to lean not on my own understanding and let God take control. I have learned to do what's possible and let God do the impossible. I am Benny Livingston and this my story...

7 months past

2011-04-01T04:09:00.000-07:00

Crazy Day In San Diego

2011-02-19T09:25:00.000-08:00

Yesterday I had a doctors appointment in San Diego as usual, I saw the doctors and everything was fine. My friend Adam came along with me for the day and after we saw the doctor we went to the mall, played a game chess with giant chess pieces, and looked around. We got hungry and decided to go to this place called Sammy's Pizza, a very good pizza place in San Diego. Well we found the restaurant and all we needed was a parking spot. We saw a spot and as I was pulling into it, a taxi driver slammed into me on my driver side door. He hit hard enough that he was peeling out trying to pull away from my car so I could get out on my drivers side. I get out and this guy doesn't speak a lick of english, could hardly understand what he was saying. He never asked if we were okay, he just said "your fault." As we are exchanging information he says to me in his thick middle eastern accent, "if you give me money now I will just go" I told him he's out of his freaking mind!! In the process of talking and getting information, my chest hurt from the jolt of the impact and seatbelt. I called an ambulance so the fire department, ambulance, and police showed up. While I was being looked at by the paramedics the police were taking a report from Adam and I. I was taken by ambulance back to where I just was, UCSD. I went to the ER, had an Xray and a EKG to make sure everything was okay. They gave me pain medication for my chest and after a few hours we were able to leave and Adam drove home, but not before we got our pizza we had our heart set on from the beginning. I thank God that Adam and I are okay because it could have been much worse.

This Made Me Think

2011-02-08T02:28:00.000-08:00

I have shared before that the reality of what Christ has done for us on the cross. It took someone's son to give me life. To know, and to now understand that it took a life to save mine, and to save yours has had a great impact on me. See the thing is Christ came back from the dead and concurred death, so by trusting in Him we will have eternity with Him. God is watching every move we make, every sin we commit, and we sometimes take His death and what He did for granted. Well what if my donor came back to life and he followed me around, watching every breath I took in and wanted to see the gift he gave at its best work. He would watch me longboard, run, play sports, and do all kinds of things because of what he gave me. Well how do you think he would feel if I started smoking and doing things that destroyed my lungs, I think he would be very disappointed. We need to keep in the front of are minds that God is watching us, and He gave us a gift to use for His honor and glory and not take advantage of the life He has given us.

Love

2011-02-01T13:48:00.000-08:00

My transplant wasn't for me, I didn't do it just for me.

I did it because I love my brothers.

Joseph, Tommy, David, Daniel, Jonathan.

John 15:13

In a heart beat.

5 Months Out

2011-02-01T13:04:00.000-08:00

It has been 5 months since my transplant and things have been going great. I have no complications or any set backs, I have been doing well and feeling great. It's been hard for me to put on wight, it's taking longer than I expected. This last year (2010) was the first year I have ever spent all four holidays in the same year with my family, Halloween, Thanksgiving, Christmas, and New Years. It was so meaningful to me to be able to do that. I was able to go up north to my Young Adult Retreat and have the strength and energy to participate in all the activities. I really enjoyed playing Volleyball in the gym, so much fun! I played for hours every night, that would have been impossible just months ago. I thank you all for reading, your support, and prayers. I still need them everyday.

I Will Hold No Fear

2010-11-13T12:29:00.000-08:00

We all have our struggles, trials, and we live in fear because of it. I want you to know God is not fear he is not pain, He is the healer and He is peace. What ever your dealing with in your life or even a trial you face today when you go out into the world, know that God is with you. All we need to do is call on Him and he will answer and clear the fear and pain. When I went into surgery I had no fear because I had no doubt in my mind that God was with me and I would wake up and be ready to share the love, peace, and grace God has brought me through. I gave my fear to Christ and He saved me and was my comfort. When Christ went to rest, I was given breath.

"Enter into rest, enter into me"

Going Home

2010-11-02T13:59:00.000-07:00

So today I went to my doctors appointment and found out I am now allowed to leave the Bannister House, and go back home. I am so ready to be back in my home town and back in my own bed. I miss hanging out with all my friends, family and taking those late trips to iHOP. This morning at my appointment I had a PFT (Pulmonary Function Test) But first I must set the scene of this story. Before my transplant I hated doing PFT's it was so hard for me to do them. They make you take a deep breath in, and with all your force blow hard and fast into the machine till all your air is gone, That reads how much lung function you have. Well every time I would do those test I would get so tired and start coughing really hard, they make you do it about 5 or 6 times a test. So by the end of the test I would be so tired and coughing really hard. Well when I would do this test (PFT) after giving it my all I would barley make a dent on the chart, my numbers would be 0.9 or when I felt good 1.0 with about a 24% force of air power coming out. Well two weeks ago I had my very first one after transplant and my numbers have drastically changed, they where 2.5 with 34% air power and they where saying wow to that, like amazed how well it has improved. It gets even better, today I blew in the thing 5 times and each time I blew the numbers went up, up, and up. My numbers where so high the lady doing the test called another person in the room to make sure that her computer was working right and what she was seeing was really it. I was now 4.23 and at 64% that means from before transplant I had more than tripled in improvement, and in two week have more than doubled. They where very impressed in this improvement and so was I!

It's History.

2010-10-27T20:38:00.000-07:00

This week, on Wednesday, I had my 11th and I believe finale surgery, I had my porticath removed. What that is, is a little round thing about the size of a nickel, to use to accesses IV lines. It's so much better to have one of those, instead of every time going into the hospital having them try and find a vain, then having the IV's go bad every three days. What the port is for, is long term IV's, and since I will not have to go back in the hospital all the time for weeks at a time, I no longer need it. But the night before my surgery I went down to my home town of Redlands and Yucaipa to see my mom, brothers, aunts, grandparents, cousins, and of corse my friends. I was at my grandparents sitting with my grandma, grandpa and my aunt. We where just sitting there talking and visiting, and was just sharing how amazing it is to breath and to do things I haven't been able to do before. Well my grandma decides to light some candles that where on the coffee table, She lights them in celebration of my new lungs. Well the candles where about 4 or 5 feet away from where I was sitting, and I thought to my self "I wonder if I can blow those out from way back here"? Because before I couldn't blow out all the candles on my birthday cake being right in front of it. So I took a deep breath... aaaaaaaah and bam!! I blew all three of them out one by one from that far away. They all stared to clap and laugh because I was showing of my new lung power, It was one of those moments that ill never forget.

How can I stand here with You and not be moved by You?

2010-10-23T21:07:00.000-07:00

When I was born I was given a second chance.

When I was 8 months I stopped breathing.

When I was 3 I had a stomach blockage that almost killed me.

When I was 21 I was very sick and in the ICU for over a week, and in the hospital for a month, some thought I wouldn't make it.

When I turned 22 I had my lung transplant.

God has spared my life five times,

So how can I stand here with You and not be moved by You?

Because I Can!

2010-10-23T01:49:00.000-07:00

I skated to StarBucks for a carmel frappuccino.

It felt so great that morning.

It was about a two mile trip going there and back.

And it felt so good to just do it, because I can!

Cant Sleep

2010-10-23T01:31:00.000-07:00

It's 1:35 am and I just cant seem to fall asleep, I have a hard time falling a sleep every night. I think it might be because I'm not in my own bed, or maybe the bed isn't that comfortable to me, I don't know. I always think a lot when I try and go to sleep, I think about pretty much the same type of stuff. I think about blessed I am, how this whole thing has changed my life, and what can I do to impact the world through this? I love writing songs it's something I do from time to time, I know I should write a song about my journey through life but I haven't gotten the words out yet. The last song I wrote was when my dad passed away and I know God dave me those words, I want the same thing to happen again. I want God to use me to write this song, I just need to wait and it will come to me. I also have given a lot of thought about writing a book, a personal biography about my whole life. I would want to get a ghost writer, but I don't have any idea how to go about doing that, or how much it cost. There's just so much I know I need to do now that God has given me this second chance.

My scars tells my story, His scars tells me He loves me.

It's A Boy!

2010-10-20T15:11:00.001-07:00

So yesterday I found out the first thing about my donor, the thing I have been wanting to know this whole time, is it boy lungs? or girl lungs? And it's a boys!! I know it doesn't matter but I'm glad it was a boy. If I had girl lungs I would probably start having mood swing, hot flashes, and craving for chocolate, Ha ha ha. I was pretty sure I had boy lungs, just had that feeling inside, no pun intended. After the lady called into the radio station, and the dream my aunt had I was pretty sure the lungs I received where from a boy.

People Ask....

2010-10-11T21:31:00.000-07:00

People have asked me, how do you feel after this transplant? How has it changed you? I cant really put into words how much it's changed me, all I can really say is you don't know how blessed you are until you are given a second chance to live. I was told I had two years to live if I didn't have the transplant. And the question was asked, how long do you have now? Thats a question I wont answer, I have no cap on my life, I don't listen to statistics. God is my time and he will choose how long I have, None of us have the guarantee of tomorrow. I know one thing I am here to share what God has done for me, and how only by Him and by His grace and mercy I stand here today. My aunt had a dream while I was in surgery and this was the dream. A boy, my donor was up in heaven and he was holding a torch, and I came up and he handed it to me, and reached out and took it from him. This meaning was that this boy had ran his race and it was my turn to run mine, he had lived his life and it was my turn to live mine. I will tell you that I have the torch in my hand now, and the fire is burning and I am here to show the fire to the world. The fire of the Lord is burning in me, and until I go my torch will burn and the word of God is going to set this world on fire through the power of his holy spirit that consumes me!! Like I said we have no guarantee of tomorrow, so I ask are you ready to run and let your torch light up the world?

God I pray for a revival of this wold and that you use me to share my story and your power and how you have held my hand every step of the way. And only by your power and grace I live today. I pray this in the name of Jesus!! Amen.

Family, Friends, and Fun

2010-10-11T21:10:00.000-07:00

On Sunday I was allowed one day to come back to my home town and visit my family and friends. I went to church in the morning and surprised everyone, I was really happy to see everyone and it felt great to be in church again. After church I went up to my mom's house to surprise my brothers, I was really happy to see them as well as they where to see me. I went to my aunts house and visited with them and later the whole family went out to dinner. My grandparents drove me back and stayed the night. We had a really nice drive on the way, I was able to share how much God has changed my life through this transplant, just a great drive. Today my brother Joseph and my friend Kathryn came down and in the afternoon my pastor, his wife, their daughter, and my friends parents came down and we all went to dinner. I'm already doing things that I have always dreamed of, just the small things, like being able to walk around and not short of breath. To be able to run is just a blessing, I went for a run with two of my brothers yesterday and it was a special moment that we have never had before. Things are going so great and Im not ever at my full potential, God is so good.

2010-10-08T13:20:00.000-07:00

I Can Run!!

2010-10-08T13:08:00.000-07:00

I cant remember the last time I was able to run, but today I broke that and ran for the first time and wasn't even out of breath. The distance wasn't too far but just a month ago that would have never of been possible. It felt so good being able, and knowing I can do what I want to do. I have no limitation anymore on physical activity, and it's still blowing me away what I can do that I haven't ever been able to do.

Morning Scare

2010-10-07T14:55:00.000-07:00

Well, this morning at about 7:00 am I woke up because my knee was hurting and It was really bothering me, so I took two Tylenol and previously had taken one pain pill for my pain where my incisions are. Well about an hour goes by and my knee stops hurting and I start to feel the center of my chest starting to hurt, it starts just being a little uncountable so I toss and turn a little while. Then it gets a little stronger so I sit up to see if that will help, and when I sit up the pain gets really intense and I start to breath faster because of the pain and start sweating a lot. I call my transplant coordinator and she tells me to go to the ER and get looked at. So 8:30 I get up get and down to the ER witch is right across the street from the Bannister House, hints why they want me to stay here. I get into the ER and of corse as I check in and wait my pain starts to go away. They got me a bed, ran a EKG, blood work, and took an XRay. By this time pain was completely gone and me and my cousin Cherry where just chatting away, thankfully she was here to get me to the ER, another reason I need 24 hour watch. But my nurse Benji took good care of me and the doctors came in and out to check on me and after about 3 hours of waiting and all test reviewed they sent me home. This was my first scare after transplant and I hope not to have another.

Fresh Out Of Surgery.

2010-10-05T22:50:00.000-07:00

This is a picture right after I got out of surgery, I was out for two days. I went in Monday woke up Wednesday, thankfully I don't really remember having the breathing tube in, I have just a small memory but thats it. Breathing tube was taken out 24 hours after surgery. Doctors, nurses, and respiratory therapists where amazed by this and said they haven't seen someone have there breathing tube taken out that fast. Average time is 3 days to a week.

Wired up.

2010-10-05T22:31:00.000-07:00

This is a picture of my first week out of surgery, I had tons of wires and tubes coming out of me from every direction.

The Bannister House.

2010-10-05T22:07:00.000-07:00

So I have been at the Bannister House in San Diego for about two and a half weeks and I am really liking it here. There are some people I'm getting to know and it's nice to share stories and talk to people who are going through similar things. I't almost like a family it seems, even though I don't know these people it just seems like everyone really connects and respects one another it's a really great feeling. I hope to encourage people by showing them and sharing my story and what i have been through. So much stuff to do down here in San Diego, I have been slowly getting out and about more. There are two malls, movie theaters, lots of restaurants and the beach all in just a few miles away. Went to the mall and got some clothes, and while I have been out I have been talking to different people about my transplant. They ask because I have my mask on and they wonder why I am wearing it, so I gladly share my story. This has truly changed my life in so many ways, ways that the average person wouldn't think twice about. Just being able to walk a block and not get tired, not having to cough all the time, and just being able to take that deep breath. I walk so much now my legs are not used to these new lungs, they are working pretty hard. I sill have about two months to go here at the Bannister House and while I am here I hope to make some new friends and encourage others. I know God has taken a life to allow me to live and because of that I want to impact the world and show the world who God truly is. He Is The Same, Yesterday Today and Forever!!!!

A Part Of How I Feel.

2010-10-05T20:49:00.000-07:00

Some More Battle Scars.

2010-10-05T20:46:00.000-07:00

My Battle Scars.

2010-10-05T17:29:00.000-07:00

I am not my own for I have been made new.

2010-09-22T12:04:00.000-07:00

I had my lung transplant three weeks and two days ago and I can only praise God for this healing his has done for me. The fight of recovery was the most difficult thing I have ever had to face, I don't think everyone fully understands just how hard it really was. I know I had and still have hundreds of people behind me in prayer and support and without the power of prayer and these people praying and of corse God, I could not have done this on my own. The feeling of breathing normally is so amazing I cant put it into words how much better I feel!! When I got out of surgery I had my breathing tube taken out with in 24 hours after surgery, they told me they have never seen someone have the breathing tube taken out that fast. They say it normally takes 3 days to a week for that to happen, but that was God giving me that straight to get through this. Later on within a week after I got a bowl abstraction that almost caused me to have surgery and that could have been a very dangerous situation and had me and my family pretty scared. So they put a NG tube down my nose witch was horrible and I hated it!! It was expected to take a few days for that to work and if it didn't then I would go into surgery. But in less than 24 hours I was able to pass things through and get that G tube out, another miracle by God. Later I developed a blood clot in my left shoulder that was making my arm swell up. They said they may have to do surgery to get rid of that, but once again Gods hands made that clot go away in a short time. I know God has been right by my side this whole time and I couldn't make it without him. I got out of the hospital in two weeks after surgery and now I am at the Bannister House for the after care stay. One of the nights I was in the hospital I was just lying there thinking of how blessed I am and began to break down in tears because of how happy I was to be here and how great it felt to take a breath. We never know how blessed we truly are until your faced with something that comes close to taking your life away. I sit and think about this, It took a mans life, someone's life ended to give me a second chance. Someone's child laid down their life to allow me to have a breath. But someone did the same for you. Someone's son died for you to give you breath, my God gave his Son to die to give you a second chance, to give you a breath, a breath of life. You see before my transplant I never had the feeling of what taking a true breath felt like, but I had felt the breath of life and through Jesus Christ dying for me he's the air I breath, and you can have that same breath by trusting in him. They say transplant I say be transformed. God is so good!! thank you for your prayers.

Getting Close!!

2010-08-11T14:33:00.000-07:00

It's been a while since i've updated my blog but today I got some news by my transplant case worker saying that according to my score for blood type and match I have the hight score. So all it takes is the right size lungs to come along and ill be next. It's been two months and eleven days since i've been listed and it seems time has gone by fast, I was told on average it takes about three months to get called. Thats coming up soon for me, I feel like I'm on the edge of my seat more than ever before. I'm a bit nerves but need to be ready to get going at any moment. The feeling of my phone going off and me thinking that this could be it hasn't gone away. I was told that my hospital did tree transplants last week, it really made me think that one out of those three could have been me. I know I serve a might God who will protect me and keep me strong through this time. Continue to pray for me and that God will give me straight to wait, and to make it through this whole thing. For people living there lives and may not know Chris. We all live in the same world with the same risks and the same jobs and so on. We do not have the guarantee that we will see tomorrow. I wait every night for a call that something will happen and I'm told it usually comes in the middle of the night. Well our God tells us he will come like a thief in the night, are you read for that time? Do you go to bed not knowing where you will spend eternity? I pray that God gives you a wake up call before it's too late. "I read the 23rd Psalms" THE LORD IS MY SHEPHERD!

Some of this and some of that.

2010-06-25T02:16:00.000-07:00

It's been 25 days of being on the list and I wish I wouldn't have to wait any longer. I've been feeling really tired lately and more short of breath. I use my oxygen all the time to help me feel better. I hate wearing it in public; I feel so insecure with it. I hate to be singled out or looked at like I'm different than everyone else. I know this is just temporary until I get my new lungs. Then I won't need to use the oxygen anymore. I'm so tired of feeling weak and not being able to do the things I want to do in life, and waking up every day not having the energy to get moving. My older brother washed my car for me because didn't have the energy to simply do that That was really nice of him. I just really hope this call will come soon. I do enjoy all my time I have and I'm glad I can spend it with my brothers and my family. Ha ha, one of my family members said to me "So you ordered you some lungs, eh"? Me... "Yeah, like UPS is sending them in the mail or something (ha ha ha), or maybe FEDX?" I laughed about it. Laughter is the best medicine. That why I love laughing and joking around about pretty much everything. But this wraps up this message. Just praying that this thing will happen soon and thank you for praying with me.

Day 18

2010-06-18T12:30:00.000-07:00

Well, it's been 18 days and still no call. I feel a little more relaxed about the whole thing now.

The Reason.

2010-06-07T01:49:00.000-07:00

Everything happens for a reason. Nothing is by chance because God knows each and every little thing that will happen in our life. He has made us all for one reason, and that's to follow him. You may look at me and the things I go through and feel sorry for me, but here's a part of how I feel about all this. I wake up and I know that my life is a lot different than most people. I face things every day that most don't. But I wake up and I look at life as a blessing every day. I think to myself, "What if I didn't have this illness? Would I pray to God? Would I even believe in Him?" Because would I have ever believed in God if I was in perfect health? You see, God has shown me his grace and how real he is by what he has brought me through in my life. I thank God for the life he's given me because through it I have learned to trust in him so much more. I don't know what tomorrow holds, but I know that God is here with me every step of the way. I believe that God won't give us anything that's too big for us to handle. Although it may seem like a mountain, we can move it with faith the size of a mustard seed. Sometimes it takes something drastic for people to believe in Him. If that's what it takes, then so be it. God will put us on our backs to make us look up. So the next time you find yourself in trouble or in need maybe it's God trying to get your attention. - Jeremiah 29:11

What's your dream?

2010-06-06T22:27:00.000-07:00

Everyone has a dream, dreams about getting married, having kids, graduating from college, buying a house... things we just expect to happen in a life time. I have those same dreams myself, but the things that I dream of are things most people wouldn't think about for a split second. My dreams are pretty simple, but things I could never imagine. See, we all have things that someone else doesn't. I walk down the street and pass a man in a wheelchair, thinking how blessed I am to be able to walk and how I take advantage of being able to walk. That man must dream of what it is like to walk. I dream of what it's like to run and walk long distances and not feel short of breath. We all need to look at what we have and be thankful for what we have because just the simple thing of normal breathing I have never felt. When you think you have it bad just look around and think of what God has given you, and be thankful. I have spent most of my life in the hospital and have seen kids that have it so much worse than me. I thank God he gave me what he gave me. Some kids won't ever walk, talk, or even ever wake up. Some have no clue who their parents are. Just be happy with what you have because not everyone is as blessed as we are.

Family.

2010-06-04T12:13:00.000-07:00

Well, one more day till my cousin's big day. That's right, he's getting married tomorrow and I'm one of the groomsmen. I was so glad I got out of the hospital this week so I could be there for this special day. All my family is together for the first time in a while and it has been great to see them.

Insomnia.

2010-06-04T01:14:00.000-07:00

It's late at night and I lay in bed thinking about so many different things. I think about my brothers and how much I love them. I think about my dad and how I wish he was here to give me his advice, even though I know he would tell me to stay strong and don't give up. And I think about my mom.

Think about this.

2010-06-03T12:41:00.000-07:00

I sit and think that as I'm on a transplant list, someone else is living their life and their time is running out. Just like I don't know when I will be called, they don't know when they will be called home. I hope and pray that the person's lungs I get has accepted Christ as their personal saviour, because just like me and the rest of you, we don't know when we will be called home. I need to be ready for when the doctors call me and say to come down to the hospital. But the most important thing is we all need to be ready for when our heavenly Father calls us. I have accepted Him, have you?

Day 3.

2010-06-03T10:06:00.000-07:00

Today is day 3 and I have no clue when I will get my call. Everytime my phone rings I hold my breath for just a split second with the thought that this could be it. I know it's only day 3 and I'm pretty sure it won't be this soon, but it's just one of those things you never know what could happen. My doctor told me the record he holds for calling someone after being listed is 7 hours. Thats so crazy! All I can do is PUSH, live life, and serve the Lord.

2010-06-02T13:02:00.000-07:00

Hi, my name is Benny Livingston and this my first time making a blog. I made one for all of those who would like to follow me and keep up with my journey on being on the transplant list for new lungs. We are spreading the word as much as we can to get people to pray for me as I take on this journey in this time of my life. We call it PUSH for Benny (Pray Until Something Happens). I have Cystic Fibrosis. For those who don't know what that really is, it's a lung disease that I was born with. It causes mucus build up in the lungs and many infections. There's a lot involved to having this illness, such as multiple operations, lots of medications and long and frequent hospital stays. If you want to learn more you can Google Cystic Fibrosis and it will give you a lot of information on it. Thank you for your prayers and we hope that you and the rest of the world will join me, my friends, and family in prayer at this time. God Bless.